I’ve never paid for sex.

I’ve haven’t been to Africa in the last six months.
I haven’t gotten a tattoo or piercing in the last two months.
I’ve never had sex with another man in exchange for drugs or money.
I’ve never had malaria.
I haven’t had open heart surgery.
I haven’t had any prison sex, or been to prison in the last 12 months.
I haven’t injected myself with anything.
I was not born in Chad, Congo, or Equatorial Guinea and I haven’t had sex with anybody who was.

Congratulations, I qualify to get stuck and bleed like a pig.

Actually, I may have saved three lives.