Damn you Shane Nickerson

Well, you lasted longer than I did

Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and ham; egg bacon and ham; egg bacon sausage and ham; ham bacon sausage and ham; ham egg ham ham bacon and ham; ham sausage ham ham bacon ham tomato and ham;
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham...
Waitress: ...ham ham ham egg and ham; ham ham ham ham ham ham baked beans ham ham ham...
Vikings: Ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and ham.
Wife: Have you got anything without ham?
Waitress: Well, there's ham egg sausage and ham, that's not got much ham in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY ham!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon ham and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got ham in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much ham in it as ham egg sausage and ham, has it?
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon ham and sausage without the ham then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like ham!
Vikings: Lovely ham! Wonderful ham!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely ham! Wonderful ham!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon ham and sausage without the ham.
Wife: I don't like ham!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your ham. I love it. I'm having ham ham ham ham ham ham ham beaked beans ham ham ham and ham!
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham. Lovely ham! Wonderful ham!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her ham instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean ham ham ham ham ham ham... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham. Lovely ham! Wonderful ham! Ham ha-a-a-a-a-am ham ha-a-a-a-a-am ham. Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Ham ham ham ham!

Photo and text blatantly ripped off from people more talented than I.