Friday Foto

two lips


from the garden

Damn you Shane Nickerson

Well, you lasted longer than I did

Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and ham; egg bacon and ham; egg bacon sausage and ham; ham bacon sausage and ham; ham egg ham ham bacon and ham; ham sausage ham ham bacon ham tomato and ham;
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham...
Waitress: ...ham ham ham egg and ham; ham ham ham ham ham ham baked beans ham ham ham...
Vikings: Ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and ham.
Wife: Have you got anything without ham?
Waitress: Well, there's ham egg sausage and ham, that's not got much ham in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY ham!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon ham and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got ham in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much ham in it as ham egg sausage and ham, has it?
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon ham and sausage without the ham then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like ham!
Vikings: Lovely ham! Wonderful ham!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely ham! Wonderful ham!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon ham and sausage without the ham.
Wife: I don't like ham!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your ham. I love it. I'm having ham ham ham ham ham ham ham beaked beans ham ham ham and ham!
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham. Lovely ham! Wonderful ham!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her ham instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean ham ham ham ham ham ham... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: Ham ham ham ham. Lovely ham! Wonderful ham! Ham ha-a-a-a-a-am ham ha-a-a-a-a-am ham. Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Lovely ham! Ham ham ham ham!

Photo and text blatantly ripped off from people more talented than I.

A Starfish Tale

A few years back, a strong Pacific hurricane in slammed into the coast of Southern Mexico. After the storm passed, a small boy walked down to the beach to survey the damage. When he reached the sand, he saw thousands of starfish that had been washed high up onto the sand. Not knowing what else to do, the boy picked one up and carefully returned it to the safety of the tide. He then returned up to the sand and rescued a second starfish, and a third, and fourth.

As the boy proceeded, a man was walking do the beach and saw the boy running back and forth, up and down into the surf. When the man approached the boy, he asked the lad, “What are you doing? Don’t you realize that this beach goes on for miles? There are millions of beached starfish. What possible difference can you make, boy?”

The child paused, looked up at the man, and answered, “Well, it makes a difference to this one” and he held up the starfish in his hands.

Sometimes going to the slums of Tijuana, Mexico can seem overwhelming, hill after hill of extreme poverty and desolation becomes almost too much to bear. “What possible good can I do? How can I possibly make a difference here?” and then I remember, “Well, it makes a difference to this family” In fact, it changes their lives.

For the fourth year this summer, from July 13 – 15, I’m helping lead a house building trip to the slums of Tijuana. We are going to raise $5,500, buy building materials, build a house and give it away, all in a single weekend. It’s about the most rewarding thing you can do.

Matthew 25: 34-40

Baja Christian Ministries

The scariest email I've received this month...

"Hey Jim, your wife suggested that since she is playing bells on Easter at all 3 services, maybe you would consider teaching the 4's and kindergarten kids at 11 a.m. Would you be interested?"


Hey what the heck, it's not like they'll be all hopped up on sugar or anything...

Moonlight Rollerway

I'm not sure what to say about the Moonlight Rollerway

It's a time capsule, it's the nineties, on top of the seventies, paved right over the fifties, like an archaeological dig with different layers sticking through.

It's a treasure trove of great pictures, but I was having too much fun keeping either one of us from falling on our behind.

It's a cult following where parents bring their kids to the place where they first met.

foto friday

Here are three shots of a lovely bouquet that showed up unexpectedly.

Which do you like best? I really want to know.

How I spent my New Years – 100 shrimp gut bomb

For New Years, my good friend Pat and his family came to visit. Really they came to see Michigan at the Rose Bowl. Pat’s wife is a giant M fan and an appearance in the Bowl is a great reason to pack up the kids and drive West.

I was excited to see my old friend, and we quickly scheduled a time to see each other. Should we get together for: the Michigan band at Disneyland, the M pep-rally at the Santa Monica pier, the pre-game M festivities, post game M celebrations (turns out, not so much)… are you seeing a theme here for the weekend?

We decided that the most fun for the civilians would be the Santa Monica Pier pep-rally, those of us who went to say… art school could wander off while blue foam bubbled from the lips of the rabid hardcore M.

As soon as we walked onto the pier, I was confronted face to face with a bullhorn, not selling overpriced bootleg M sweatshirts, but shrimp, Bubba Gump shrimp.

HEY GO BIG BLUE!

um, Michigan is just blue, go blue…

YEAH! GO BLUE! ENTER A SHRIMP EATING CONTEST FOR BLUE!!!!

um shrimp? Eating contest, no thanks (keep walking)

THEAMS OF THREE, AND THE FINALS ARE HELD ON THE MAIN STAGE OF THE PEP RALLY! GO BLUE!!!!!!

Then Pat’s wife: wait, wait, the winners go on stage!

Um yeah…?

The very hollowed ground where the coach will speak from, where the players will walk… where, where… we could go backstage!

Pat, who was facing a drive back home across three states with said wife was the first to cave, It might be fun… not one to pass up a dare… I’ve now entering the world of competitive eating. But we are two, and need teams of three. We start looking around, and it turns out there it a single who just showed interest, a Young Indian Guy who I was never able to get his name. YIG is a software developer from Kansas City, came there from India 10 years ago, he and his wife are on spending the holiday in Los Angeles and had no clue anything was happening at the pier that day.

As we start looking around, it is becoming pretty obvious that every other team is young corn feed Michigan college boys, many of whom appear to actually be on the Rose Bowl team. And we are two graphic designers from San Diego with two kids apiece, and YIG from Kansas City, so obviously we choose a team name of… Ann Arbor. One guess who picked the team name.

The contest turns out to be a single elimination event, eight teams compete one on one, then the winning teams going on to semi finals, the winners of which head for the main stage. The rules were shrimp cocktail, after one minute the tails were counted and a winner declared...

missed milestones

On February 9th at quarter to midnight, somebody in Monterey, CA (probably my brother-in-law) logged on to this site, saw that there was still no update, stuck around for 0 minutes and 0 seconds, and became the 1,000 visitor. Thanks.

not all it was cracked up to be

Dear Samy’s camera,

I am writing to express my extreme dissatisfaction with the service I have received from your repair department.

I am the creative director at an advertising agency, and have worked with many many professional photographers over the years. I have heard rave reviews about the institution that is Samy’s from amateur and pro photographers alike. Now all this goodwill and reputation has been brought into question buy an astounding level of neglect.

When my digital camera died just before Christmas, I bemoaned the bad timing and sought out what I thought was the most professional option available – Samy’s. I wanted a place where I could get is fixed fast and fixed right.

I brought it into your Fairfax store on December 26th, and was slightly disappointed to learn that you would need to send it to Pentax and it could take, “a couple of weeks” to get an estimate due to the holidays. I received a receipt that is numbered XXXX.

It is now March 7th, it has been over 10 weeks and I have been unable to get an ESTIMATE of what repairs will cost.

Even more infuriating, is the lack of follow-up from the repair department. I have called multiple times, and nobody in repairs ever answers the phone, each time I have gone back to the receptionist and gotten connected to a repair manager. And each time I am told, “Wow, that does seem like a long time, let me look into that and I’ll call you back tomorrow”. I have yet to receive a single call from anybody at Samy’s.

I would like some answers regarding my camera (specifically an estimate to get it fixed), but I also feel that it is important to make you aware of how this episode has tarnished your reputation in my eyes.

Sincerely,

Blogwick

Repair ticket XXXX, dated December 26, 2006

Shane Nickerson writes: This newfound excitement for the glorious internet has inspired me to try to get back to blogging on a regular basis.

Well, I'm with you brother. Bring it on month of March.

Apparently there are rules:

1. No mention of blogging, or bemoaning this "damned thing I promised to do, so here's the friggin' post."

Good one, no apologies, no excuses

2. No link-only posts that say, "I found this at blahblahblah.com and you NEED to check it out!"

Amen brother

3. No mention of ham or cold cuts (just to be safe).

OK, I can live with this, never felt a need to blog ham

4. No more shit stories!

As I would never tell a shit story, I'll reverse this and come up with one in the next 30 days

5. At least every third post will have photos.

At least, and some will just be photos

6. Exciting news that has something to do with THIS.

Exciting news about something yet to be determined

7. As always, no ads.

Post about ads are a possibility, but I'm not getting any money

8. Responses to interesting comments.

Define interesting

9. Seriously, how good is Heroes?

Really good, but April 23?! WTF

10. No less than 100 words.

See #5, I'm a lover not a writer

11. If I fail to uphold my end of this challenge, I promise to shutter the doors of this stale little weblog forever.

Blog about ham

Bonus #12 - no memes
and yes, this is #1

viva la blog!