On my way into work this morning, I got stuck behind this BIG BLACK TRUCK with lots of aftermarket CHROME, and this lovely decal on the back window. It got me thinking: 1) Aren’t are all guys asses bad? OK, well Brad Pitt or something maybe [1]. But as a whole, the average American male butt? Not much to brag about. and 2) What makes this guy’s butt so bad that he wants to tell the world about it? Lopsided? Sagging? Excessively hairy? What? Why is he truly a bad ass boy? And why is he telling me?
I guess Dodge is ahead of me on this physical phenomenon, creating special “bass ass” vehicles to help the poor ass afflicted boys. I can hear the salesman, “Whoa dude, bad ass!” Sheepish customer backs toward a wall looking at the floor in shame. “No, no, it’s OK, you’re in the right place my ass challenged friend. Let me introduce you to the WA-5000, the latest technology in wide ass seating! Yes, my seat hogging friend, we have the bad ass toy... for you.”
[1] Commenting on Brad Pitt’s neither regions does not make one gay. No that there’s anything wrong with that.